Amy and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary on August 26. I cannot believe it has been four years already. It is pretty amazing to look back on what we have done together and how much has changed in four years. One thing has not changed: I still cannot imagine life without her. Happy anniversary Famous!
So enough cheese for one day you say? OK, fine.
Fantasy football season is upon us folks. This year I am a member of three leagues. I am not sure how I am going to keep up with all three. Spreading my mediocrity over three leagues will likely render me the equivalent of the Cleveland Browns in all three leagues. Translation: you hate to play me, as I am so crappy you cannot improve your rep by beating me, but I can destroy your rep with a fluky big game.
How can I get better at fantasy football? Short of quitting my job and going all pale-skin internet addict cheetoh muncher, I have no idea. I do know I have to get over picking players I recognize the name of for my team. I used to be really into football, watching every Sunday and catching the same Sports Center two or three times in a weekend. I knew player’s stats and abilities intuitively based on excessive highlight watching. Time has caught up to me though. Turns out you should be careful with picking someone like Isaac Bruce… He is one of the top receivers in the game, if this was 1999.
Another concept I have to borrow from my friend Grant. When selecting a kicker, base your decision on one thing and one thing alone: The complexity of that kicker’s last name. The best kickers of all time have the most ridiculous and intricate surnames. So I will load up the bottom spot on the roster with as many consonants as possible.
Now I will put on my digital whistle, round up my virtual players, and head to the imaginary gridiron for another season of getting way too excited for mediocre achievements of mouse-clicking domination.
