Fake News

Local Man, Happy With Job, Nonetheless Loses it at Work

Salt Lake City, UT, AP: “He just started alternating between singing pop goes the weasel and yelling angrily at his coffee cup to ‘stop being so condescending’.” Words spoken by a witness to the small mental breakdown that took place in a Salt Lake City engineering office this afternoon. The man, 25, was apparently attempting to work after returning from a vacation. “I love my job, I enjoy the people I work with, and I can honestly say I don’t know what caused this” said the man who apparently couldn’t hold it together, hours after being coaxed down from the top of his desk where he was pointing at the door, shouting “The outside is out there, I know it is!”.

Leading experts in the field of mind-loss point to the subject’s quick return to the workforce after a vacation filled with family, food, and beverage as the likely cause for the outburst. When asked for a closing remark, the subject, still hazy eyed, muttered some nonsense not worth reporting.

No one was hurt in the mind-loss, with the only injury coming to a keyboard which was found half-submerged in a toilet bowl. The keyboard refused to comment.

Note: this story is made up